Pushing and Pulling
by Todd's Pet
Summary: An un-named wraith has a hard time trying to persuade his new worshipper that he has feelings for her... but is everything as it really seems? Blame Eddie for this frame of mind! Song quoted is "I Caught Myself" by Paramore.


Pushing and Pulling

She's hugging the tattered remnants of her garment around her, and she's trembling. He can sense it's from fear but he can also sense that, if asked, she would deny that and say she was simply cold. She is cold; he can sense that too.

He strides right up to her and she turns and looks him straight in the eye. A good start, he thinks. She's almost as tall as him and well muscled, strong. Good, he thinks – his Commander likes his women fragile and waif-like so he won't want her – but he prefers them… robust.

She's standing a little apart from the rest of the villagers, he notes, and that's a good thing too. The ones who don't fit in, who are too different from their fellow humans, tend to settle more easily into life on a wraith hive. It shouldn't be too hard on her.

She lets out a small gasp as a shiver runs down her spine and he notices the goose bumps on her arms. Spontaneously he takes his coat off and wraps it around her, coaxing her with his eyes and a nod of his head to put her arms into the sleeves. When she does he reaches around her waist with his arms to buckle the belt, bringing their faces within an inch of each other. Her gaze does not falter and she does not try to pull away from him.

oOo

"Hate, fear or curiosity?"

She snaps her head around to look at him with a question hanging on her face.

"I sense you don't know what to make of me," the wraith explains softly and patiently. "I was wondering what was the root of your feelings toward me." Instead of replying she gives a short laugh, loaded with bitterness. "I would ask what was so funny, but I sense your laugh is not one of amusement."

"I just find it ironic." She does not elaborate.

After a few moments he prompts her with, "And in what do you find such irony?"

"Firstly that you think I have feelings for you, and secondly that you believe me to be feeling the very reactions that are the only things I've ever received from those in my village."

"They feared and hated you?"

"Humans fear and hate things they don't understand."

"But not you," he says gently. "You are different."

"Yes," she says sadly. "Hence the curiosity. But none of them ever trusted me really. I was too different."

"So you are curious about me, then?"

"I certainly don't hate you or fear you…" her voice trails off as he raises his eyebrows. She turns her head away and adds, "What you're sensing is just ingrained conditioning. I've been brought up to hate and fear wraith."

"But in your heart you don't – you're curious."

"Yes, but…" She sighs deeply. "It's confusing."

"Would you like to learn more about wraith?" He speaks to her gently, his voice soft, as he lays his hand on her head and brushes his fingers through her hair. "You might be less confused then."

She doubts that very much. Having this strangely gentle wraith being so kind to her is doing nothing whatsoever to ease her confusion.

oOo

"It seems I'm not the only one who's different." She makes the statement like it was an accusation.

"How so?" he asks her. His long, relaxed stride brings him across the room in just a few steps, where he swings his leg over the bench, as if he were mounting a horse. He settles himself beside her as she sits leaning on the table with her elbows. He watches her profile as she sips soup from a cup.

"You're not the average wraith," she says. As if to illustrate the point he reaches out and rests his hand on her arm. She shrugs it off. "Why are you being kind to me?"

"Kindness is a crime now?"

"It seems to be for most wraith."

"It's not so hard to understand. We're really not that different, you know, you and I."

The wistful tone in his voice makes her put her cup down and turn to look at him. She searches his face, the depths of his golden eyes, for any sign of deception, but she sees none.

"Why would a human show kindness to another?"

"Are you trying to say you care about me?"

"Is it not obvious?" he says. He tilts his head and reaches out to her again. When he rests his warm palm on her cheek she confesses that it does seem obvious.

"Now I'm really confused," she says.

oOo

He hears the music long before he reaches his room. She doesn't normally listen to it so loud, he thinks and hopes it doesn't mean there's something wrong. He senses her emotional pain as soon as the door opens – it washes over him like waves in the ocean.

Her back is facing him and the music is too loud for her to hear him enter. She's singing along to the words…

"You got it, you got it – some kind of magic

Hypnotic, hypnotic –you're leaving me breathless

I hate this, I hate this – you're not the one I believe in…"

Her confusion is painful for him to sense; he lets go a strangled snarl and she whirls around to see him standing there watching her. She immediately turns the music off but says nothing.

"You hate me?" he asks quietly.

"No, the lyrics are 'I hate this' – this weird situation." She doesn't know why she feels the need to soften the blow.

"But I'm not the one…"

She can't quite believe what she's hearing. "What?"

He walks slowly and tentatively toward her, reaching out his hand in slow motion, looking as if he's afraid she'll tear his arm off.

"You're a wraith!" she squeals. "And I'm a human! You can't possibly mean…"

He strokes his hand down her hair and makes a soft sound almost like purring.

"Good grief, you do mean that!" She stomps away from him and starts pacing at the other side of the room.

"I know you want to," he says gently, "I can sense it."

"Stop that! Stop getting in my head! Just stop pushing and pulling at me all the time!"

"Don't you want what I want…?" his voice trails off despondently.

"I don't know what I want! But as God is my witness I know it's not you!" As she hurls the words at him he looks up and the pain she sees in his eyes makes her catch her breath. He turns on his heel and leaves the room without a word.

Oh my God, she thinks, now I've seen it all… I've just hurt a wraith's feelings!

oOo

"I thought I was nothing more than a servant to you," she says. She can't keep the note of apology from her voice, even though she told herself repeatedly all through the night that what he'd suggested was unthinkable.

He picks up on the direction of her thoughts and answers her unspoken question. "It's not uncommon, you know, although it does tend to be kept behind closed doors." She takes a sharp intake of breath at the tangent he took their conversation on. "You do want to, don't you?" he asks her.

She looks down at her own hands folded in her lap and sighs. "Sometimes I've caught myself thinking things I shouldn't… I've always stopped myself…"

She can feel the heat of him as he leans in close to her, his lips so close they brush the fine down on her cheek. "Perhaps you should stop… stopping yourself…" he tells her. He trails his fingertips down the nape of her neck and breathes gently in her ear. She turns her head to protest and their lips meet. He kisses her hesitantly and sighs when he draws away from her.

Her head is spinning, not just from her own confusion but also from the nearness of him. She knows she has to admit it to herself – she does have feelings for this wraith.

He kisses her again and takes her hands, pulling her gently toward the bedroom. "I love you," he whispers between repeated kisses.

Somewhere deep in her mind she knows she's going to regret this, but her body can do nothing other than respond to him. And before the night is over her mind joins the conspiracy and she finally tells him what he wants to hear: "I love you, too."

oOo

"You brought your lapdog with you," the other wraith says when they reach the meeting.

She bridles at the implication but holds her tongue and satisfies herself with the snarl of disapproval "her" wraith gives the other.

They sit at the table and her wraith starts to put his report tablets on the table in front of him. "Damn!" he says, "I've missed one."

Before he can say anything further, she leaps to her feet. "I know the one – I'll get it for you!" She rushes from the room, happy to do something for him, while he settles back in his chair, smiling.

"You've got her well trained," the other wraith says with an admiring tone. "What's your secret?"

"I couldn't possibly tell you," he says with a hint of embarrassment.

"Go on – strictly between you and me."

"Well, so long as you keep it to yourself," he says as he watches the door. He turns to his colleague and in a conspiratorial whisper, he tells him, "These humans are so easily manipulated. Especially the females – give them a declaration of undying love and they're yours forever."

"But why even bother?"

"It makes them docile and cooperative – they're so much easier to handle when they think you love them."


End file.
